My future brother-in-law posted this “15 Things Emotionally Strong People Don’t Do” article on his Facebook page. I was intrigued by the title and after reading the article, I started reflecting on the 15 things emotionally strong people do. I came to realize that I am fairly emotionally strong, at least my thoughts and reflection. Here are the 15 items.
- They don’t beg for attention. – I don’t like being the center of attention and I’d much rather watch and observe others. I quit my job July 2013 (recently accepted a new job offer!), but I didn’t talk about it unless someone brought it up and asked me how things were going.
- They don’t allow others to bring them down.
– I like to surround myself with positive and optimistic people. We’re all human and it’s challenging to be positive and optimistic all the the time but it’s easy to accept how you’re doing to react to situations. I don’t like being around negative people, so I don’t associate with negative people.
- They don’t hold grudges.
– Again, we are human but what is the point to holding a grudge? Letting something fester inside of you and not doing something about it or talking through what happened. I used to hold grudges when I was younger but when you do that, other things build up inside and most of the time (with me, specifically), I would word vomit all these feelings, not just about what I was holding a grudge about, but other things as well. Holding grudges is not healthy and it doesn’t accomplish anything either. If people are willing to talk through issues and problems, that’s a good thing! Holding grudges can not only have a negative effect on you, but it can have a negative effect on others as well. Grudges get people nowhere.
- They never stop doing their own thing.
– It’s good to have things you’re interested in, and also good to learn new things. I enjoy movies and theater and being active, and I try and make sure all three of those areas in my life continue to be a part of my life.
- They never stop believing in themselves. – This is a hard one for me, partly because sometimes I’m not confident in my skills or abilities. I know I can do whatever I put my mind to, but sometimes there are obstacles that come along and those obstacles are hard to get over. As long as I can continue and try to believe in myself, then I’ll eventually get to a point where I believe in myself all the time.
- They don’t act like bitches or assholes. – I never feel I’m entitled to anything and I try to treat everyone I encounter with respect. Again, I’m human, just like everyone else and sometimes during a certain situation it’s hard not to act a certain way, but I try and stay calm and collected. And most of the time, I don’t have a reason to act like a bitch or an asshole.
- They know better than to let just anyone into their lives. – I have a tendency to be quiet and observant around people I just meet. For me, it takes a while to warm up to people and reveal certain things about myself. I don’t have any deep dark secrets, but mutual understanding of trust and respect must be built before I let people into my life.
- They aren’t afraid to love.
– When I was in college and in my early 20s, I always analyzed and dissected what was said and certain gestures by the opposite ex, trying to figure out what everything meant. It did get exhausting because I thought about it a lot. It wasn’t until I was comfortable in my own skin being single that I met and fell in love with someone that I deserve. As soon as I was confident in myself, everything just fell into place, and it was the first time I didn’t analyze everything.
- They don’t lie in bed dreading the day ahead of them. – I have made all the decisions in my life and sometimes I wish I could go back and change what I did but then I wouldn’t be who I am. Even when I was in a job that wasn’t right for me, I got up, put my big girl pants on and went on with my day. After I decided to quit, I didn’t lie in bed thinking about my decision over and over, I started plugging away to find a new job. Never once did I dread the decision I made. Life is meant to be lived, not spent be negative. If people want to change something in their life, then they need to take action and responsibility.
- They’re not afraid of slowing down.
– I have a hard time not doing something but I feel like I am slowly getting better. My fiance and I don’t have to go to Target because we don’t have any plans. We can hang out at home and read or watch movies together. I’m learning that it’s OK have an afternoon of not doing anything.
- They don’t do things they don’t want want.
– For the most, I’ve done things that I have wanted to do. Obviously there are things that I don’t like doing but are necessary, like cleaning the bathroom.
- They have no problem saying “no.”
– I have to work on this.
- They don’t “forget” to give back. – I’ve found two organizations that I believe in and like volunteering for. I always donate clothing and make monetary contributions (when I am able to), to friends and family participating in charity events.
- They don’t feel like they need to fit in.
– This is something that has to me later in life. As I’ve gotten older and matured, I’ve realized it’s not about the type of people you are friends with or hang out, but the actual people. If there is a shared interest, then that works. We put so many labels on groups of people, especially in school, that we forget what really matters – good-natured, respectful people. I’ve embraced my dorkiness and don’t hide that I love showtunes, indie films, and being goofy.
- They don’t forget happiness is a decision.
– Overall, I’m a happy person. I make my own decisions and if I decide something that I think later on is dumb, I live it with and move on. There are so many things to be happy and grateful for and I think people need to realize that we control our own lives. If we aren’t happy for one reason or another, we can make a change, or a lot of little changes, or we can continue to to be unhappy. I prefer to be happy, it makes life so much better.
This article really touched on areas that people should think about and reflect on.